It’s that time of year when people give each other lots of food with questionable nutritional value, and the cookie exchange is one of the best delivery systems for high calorie yumminess. Basically, you make a gazillion cookies, meet with other people who also made a gazillion cookies, swap your cookies, then consume enough to lapse into a food coma for a day and swear you’ll never eat again. Sadly, the internet has yet to develop a cookie delivery system, so Linda Poitevin came up with the closest thing: a cookie exchange blog hop. She kicked the whole thing off last week with her recipe for snowballs, and this week it’s my turn to make the internet a slightly more delicious place.
You’ve heard urban legends about the ghost hitchhiker and alligators in the sewer. Now, prepare for the… COOKIE URBAN LEGEND.
Seriously. No, it’s not actually scary, unless you have a chocolate chip phobia. However, a variation of this story has been around since I was in Girl Scouts. In that version, a woman called Mrs. Fields’ headquarters and asked for their cookie recipe. She was told it was two fifty and happily agreed to pay the sum. When her credit card bill arrived, she saw a charge for $250 and was so enraged at being billed a ridiculous amount for a company’s most valuable asset that she spread the recipe as far as she could in an attempt to get her money’s worth.
Last year, when I looked for a new holiday cookie recipe, imagine my surprise when I heard a similar story, though it was a different recipe and the cookies were supposed to be Neiman Marcus’s secret recipe.
So no matter what anyone tells you, this recipe is not from Neiman Marcus. Or Mrs. Fields. No, they are the Urban Legend Christmas Cookies, and they are damn good. I highly recommend you have someone ready to take them off your hands as soon as they cool, because the only scary thing about this recipe is how quickly they’ll disappear.
The Urban Legend Christmas Cookies
2 cups butter
4 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 cups granulated sugar
2 cups brown sugar (the “original” recipe doesn’t specify, but I use either light or a 50/50 blend of light & dark)
5 cups blended oatmeal (measure oatmeal, then blend to a fine powder in a, er, blender)
24 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 tsp. salt
1 8 oz. milk chocolate bar, grated (the recipe calls for Hershey’s, but feel free to swap it out for your chocolate bar of choice)
2 tsp. baking powder
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice, or skip if you are anti-nuts for any reason)
2 tsp. vanilla
Cream the butter and both sugars in a big old bowl, then add eggs and vanilla. Mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda (if you’re dedicated, you can sift the dry ingredients together first, but it’s not necessary). Add chocolate chips, chocolate bar, and nuts. Try not to eat too many of the chocolate chips in the process. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Hand bowl and spoon to someone who will appreciate it, or keep it for yourself. I won’t judge.
Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies, unless you like bigger cookies.
In case 112 cookies isn’t enough, be sure to check with these awesome writers, who’ll be posting their recipes next week:
Ellie Ashe, whose quirky debut mystery CHASING THE DOLLAR came out this year.
Carrie Sessarago, author of PRIDE, PREJUDICE, AND POPCORN and, of course, JURASSIC JANE EYRE: THE DINOSAUR TURNED ME LESBIAN.
Colleen Vanderlinden, my co-nominee in the Indie Urban Fantasy category of the 2014 RT Awards and author of the HIDDEN series.